Just be there...
Calling special needs parenting "challenging" is legit the equivalent of calling Beyoncé a singer... DON'T. YOU. DARE. It's unlike anything I could adequately put into words but hey, when have I ever backed away from a challenge???
It's so complex... so many layers. So many emotions. This past week has been one that brought me to my knees. Firstly, COVID IS NO JOKE. I've never been more exhausted in my life. Like ever. The smallest things take all I have at times. Soooooo... now let's add a 4.5 year old Autistic child who clearly has no idea he is "sick" (or does he???), one who is minimally verbal and frustrated, one whose routine has been COMPLETELY demolished, one who is quarantined from one of the people he loves most... he has been RELENTLESS. I feel terrible for him. He is so dysregulated...so frustrated. You know what else though, I feel terrible for ME. Yep you read that right. I'm ok with being "not ok" sometimes. This. Ish. Is. HARD!!!!!!! It's a roller coaster I never stood in line to ride but baby I'm riding with my baby boy til the wheels fall off. While I'm riding though I'm going to allow myself to feel. The joy, the pride, the anger, the frustration, the disappointment, THE WHATEVER. I feel it.
One of my biggest blessings is having a tribe that is always there. It's seldom that I reach out to others for help so for me to do so is HUGE and they are ALWAYS there. They comfort me, pray for me when I don't have the strength to pray for myself, they validate my feelings and encourage me at the same time. They NEVER allow me to question my abilities as a mother. Let me just say I'm incredibly grateful...
If you love someone who is going through something similar JUST BE THERE. Don't minimize their concerns. Don't try to dictate their feelings. Don't center/make it about you. Just. Be. There.
To my fellow parents of children with special needs... allow yourselves to feel. Allow yourselves to be human. You are not ungrateful just because you get tired. You are not being unreasonable because someone else is in a worse situation than you are. Yes, it could be worse but it also could be better and there is NOTHING WRONG with wanting better. You give so much of yourself...your cup is likely empty. Step away if only for a moment. It's essential. Self care is not selfish. Reach out to your tribe...if you don't have one, I'm here. I may not be able to do much, but I can just be there...
